Spainops
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« on: January 09, 2008, 11:32:50 pm » |
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It's just a little something I wrote when I was feeling down and since I saw this here poetry board, I kinda figured, you know, what the heck? Alehop, here we go!
Edited thanks to T.W. Hopefully
Through darkened tunnels and blackened halls we travel, through night’s mist and hatred’s night we travel, never seeing never hearing blind, deaf and mute lost to all and one.
Steps we take and steps we hear sounds we hate and ground we fear in this darkened tunnel of eerie feel.
Yet a light shines can truth be near? No, wrong times for happy endings and soundless ears.
Down we step once, twice, down we step into the ice.
Gone is hope gone is faith I cannot cope with darkness’ face.
Every second I gaze into mesmerizing haze never letting go, never letting go.
Can I resist? Can I desist? Not that I can say for in darkness I must stay.
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« Last Edit: January 12, 2008, 12:01:03 am by Spainops »
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True power does not reside in the weapon, it resides in the wielder. - Narion Anarte, Phoenix of Narde.
Vengeance is served on a plate of knives. - Neforas, Chosen of Duriel.
I may look human, but that's just because you're blind. - Narion Aarach.
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jazen
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A smile costs little but gives much treat sum1 2 1
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« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2008, 09:51:54 am » |
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Through darkened tunnels and blackened halls we travel, through night’s mist and hatred’s night we travel, never seeing never hearing blind, deaf and mute lost to all and one.
So far so good
Steps we take and steps we hear sounds we hate and ground we fear in this darkened tunnel of eerie feel.
Half expected his verse to end in an ‘ear’ sound, this works though
Yet a light shines can truth be near? No, wrong times for happy endings and soundless ears.
Soundless ears? I think tears would sound slightly better, but don’t know.
Down we step once, twice, down we step into the ice.
Into? Hmm, onto?
Gone is hope gone is faith I cannot cope with darkness’ face.
This works
Every second I gaze into mesmerizing haze never letting go, never letting go.
Sounds good
Can I resist? Can I desist? Not that I can say for in darkness I must stay.
Good poem, I like it. Write another one sometime.
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AMERICA here I come, I will be out of the country - and away from internet - for the next 2-3 weeks. A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step, A story of a thousand words starts with a single thought.
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Spainops
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Favorite Genre: Fantasy, Sci fi and anything out of the ordinary (or so I hope).
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« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2008, 02:40:44 am » |
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Good poem, I like it. Write another one sometime.
Why thank you so much, Jazen! I'd like to see so'more of your work up here, too.
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True power does not reside in the weapon, it resides in the wielder. - Narion Anarte, Phoenix of Narde.
Vengeance is served on a plate of knives. - Neforas, Chosen of Duriel.
I may look human, but that's just because you're blind. - Narion Aarach.
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