Original Writings ~ The Literates Asylum

Creative Writing => Critiques Corner => Topic started by: RowanW on October 20, 2007, 10:49:53 pm

Title: Atrophy (WIP) (Post 2)
Post by: RowanW on October 20, 2007, 10:49:53 pm
Hey there. This is the second post to my story Atrophy. The first 10 parts can be found here: http://originalwritings.smfforfree2.com/index.php/topic,77.0.html


Part 11 - The Library of Portals - Sec. 1

Henry was waiting for me on the other side. The sun was shining brightly overhead, and I realized I had been in the other realm for quite a while. There was a questioning look on his face where have you been? and so I told him. Told him about the age worn world where planets filled the horizon and mist creatures of memory were the only things that moved. Henry went still, staring at the wall for several minutes, before nodding to himself and motioning for me to follow.

He led me to the door, through the door and into the endless hallway. We went to the stairs, the winding staircase that disappeared into the ceiling, the one we had passed on our way in, for there were many more down the passageway. I touched the side of the stairs, for there were walls surrounding us, walls that rose just above my head, and they were chilly and slightly rough under my hands.

We corkscrewed up through the ceiling, came to a stop at a stone door. Henry stopped, turned and carefully looked me over, seemed to be preparing himself for something, some kind of disappointment. He reached down and gently grasped my hand, pressed it against the door. Blue symbols, similar to the ones around the door, pulsed into life, and the stone dropped down, through a gap in the floor, and for just a second, I glimpsed space, starry, starry space, darker even then the evil night that lingered in the midnight hours.

Henry was smiling now.

And I wondered, where were we exactly? God knew we weren’t in Kansas anymore. Was this place floating around somewhere in the time-space continuum, allowing it to be connected to what were so obviously alternate realities?

I glanced up from my study of the now solid floor, and into the room beyond. Did a double take, because I had never seen a library so amazingly huge as the one in front of me. Book shelves so high ladders would have been necessary to reach the top, and, indeed, there were many of them scattered across the expanse. It was at least one hundred shelves deep, sixty wide. And there was a corridor that lead off into another chamber.

But then the books themselves caught my attention. On each spine were symbols similar to the ones in my room, pulsing with that soft blue light. I reached out and touched one with a finger, which was, perhaps, not the smartest thing I could have done. A burst of energy skittered down my spine and I snatched my finger away. So much power in in such a fragile paper receptacle.

Henry took my arm and pulled me deeper into the library. We passed shelf after shelf after shelf until we came to one where a book had been put back binding down to mark it's place. Henry pulled it down; just looking at it for a few seconds, making a decision, before placing it in my hands and motioning for me to open the cover.

I did, carefully; the energy was stronger now, but gentle, and I did not fear it. On the first page was a drawing so detailed it could have been a photograph. I glanced up at Henry, curious, where is this place?, but he just smiled and turned the page. More of the symbols. A larger one with several smaller scattered around it, but a single line wove through and connected them all.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Henry take another book off the shelf, and then he was there, putting his hand over mine, entwining our fingers, pressing them to the symbols.

Title: Re: Atrophy (WIP) (Post 2)
Post by: Avril_fan on October 26, 2007, 12:14:11 am
Holly Hannah, I didn't see that coming. Well done, Rowan, you did it yet again. I'm now more interested in this then I was with any other story. I'd like to hear more and to see what Henry is really up to. Is he reallya good guy or is he really a bad guy trying to lead our hero to his doom? Hope to see more, also like to say that I wantt to know more about your character and what his history is.

Title: Re: Atrophy (WIP) (Post 2)
Post by: EightyEight on October 26, 2007, 09:43:02 pm
A nice continuation to your story, but the lack of dialogue is a little worrying. On the bright side, however, it adds a dreamy sort of style, at least for me - I can't remember a single dream where people have talked to me, so maybe it's just a personal thing. But anyway, like I said before, you've got some explaining to do ;).