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H2O (what would have become my second book - major WIP)

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Author Topic: H2O (what would have become my second book - major WIP)  (Read 3514 times)
Tau Worlock
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« on: May 19, 2007, 09:38:31 am »

Once more I have to say congratulation, you are an excellent writer. Hats of to you.

On to the story itself. I like Kaelin’s ‘Reflections Upon Existence’ we only see a small part but it is very good, it also makes a good opening as it is addressed to the reader, whether they are within the story or reading it. It also raises enough questions to get me interested.

The next bit with the description of the Orion system was nice but you where a bit heavy handed with names and technical terms that somebody who does not know a lot about this kind of thing could have lost interested there.

The fight with the xeno reads well but I am not entirely happy with the set up. if the xeno are so powerful then the humans are doomed, so if you want to write a war between the two then tone down the xenos power or it will be totally one sided.

The Sargasso scene reads well as well but I had flashed of the Falcon and X-wings pop into my mind while reading that.

I eagerly await more.
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